Day 19: Tying One On

I have tied one on. Don't be alarmed - I haven't downed one too many margaritas during my lunch break today. I have tied a blue ribbon on my wrist. More specifically, I had Noah tied it on my wrist. I got the idea while reading Beth Moore's Believing God. While going through this study, it serves as a physical reminder of a commitment to increase your personal level of sanctification by sacrificing a part of one's lifestyle that may not be pleasing to God. I kind of skipped right over that part as I read through the chapter because I couldn't think of which habit I needed to surrender at His feet. It just kind of stayed with me, though, and I finally read the passage from which Beth pulled this idea:

The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. Then you will remember to obey my commands and will be consecrated to your God. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord your God.'"
Numbers 15:37-41

So I cut a piece of blue ribbon and had Noah tie it on my wrist. I read this passage to both the boys and explained that sometimes when I feel all mean and yucky inside I need to have this reminder to obey God's commandments...especially that part about loving others and being kind to other people through my words.

The plan is to wear this ribbon as I go through this period of transformation--yes...I have discovered that is what I am in. God has thrown Romans 12:1-2 at me several times lately, and I know now that I am done with my rebellious ways. I can be the nonconformist that I so often am by not conforming to the behavior and customs of this world. Through this transformation I will draw closer to Him and know Him, and that is what purpose is all about!

Day 11: Satan Ain't Happy

...and he has been working in full force today! I took off today so I could work on my freelance project to generate some much needed additional income. I didn't manage to get anything accomplished in that arena, but I did get a few errands out of the way. All in all, though, my patience has been short...especially with the boys. Typical sibling bickering, but today it grated more than usual. I snapped at them several times and really yelled at them as they were getting ready for school. I felt out of control (and not the kind where you choose to scoot over so God can drive!). I had to breathe deeply and ask Him to take care of my anxieties and my lack of patience.

1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

I'm closing my eyes tonight with the hope that tomorrow will be better.

Day 10: Renewal

Before the sermon tonight, Pastor Scott called the women of the church to the altar for prayer. It was such a powerful time as He prayed over each of us individually. Here are some of the things he said as he prayed over me:

• God, you know what she has been through.
• There is a great anointing on her.
• She will be a great warrior.
• She will wake up each day powerful for you.

He also said to lay down those things that have been keeping me from having a complete relationship with God. Take those things to the altar that are not good. Rid myself of whatever is holding me back so that I can be one with Him.

I have felt for some time that I need to work on the following things:

• My attitude at work…condescension; sarcasm; putting down on colleagues whose ideas or work ethics do not align with my own
• My use of profanity.
• Wasting time browsing web sites that serve no purpose in my life.

Tonight I took the following actions as soon as I got home:

• Deleted a blog I had begun using to journal about things at work that irritated me.
• Deleted a user ID/membership on a web site that is nothing but a time waster.

Moving forward I commit to:

• Take the advice I gave to my own children: If the words I am about to speak will not be helpful, I will not say them.
• I will purge things from my life that serve no purpose and waste my time and/or money.
• I will not use profanity.

But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

Colossians 3:8-10