Day 1: I'm a Control Freak

Late last night I had what my mom would call a good case of the “Can’t-Help-Its”! Even after committing the next 100 days to hearing God’s message to me, I was “in a funk” and didn’t know why. I was restless, irritable, agitated…just depressed about different areas of my life—work, finances, relationships.

I’m a person who generally likes change, even advocates it, but I’m a little weary of this perpetual state of temporariness that I’ve been in for quite some time. Nothing feels permanent or settled—like it’s where I need to be. For a planner and organizer, this is difficult. I want to fit everything into a perfect little box or chart. I want to map out a “plan” and follow it step by step, but things just aren’t happening that way. I want to analyze myself, my desires, my goals and have everything just fall into place. I want to be IN CONTROL.

And that’s part of what this is all about, I think. Control. I’ve got to let go and let God. After feeling so despondent last night (which was nothing more than Satan trying to discourage my efforts to draw near to God) I felt drawn to read Ephesians. The introduction in my Quest Study Bible said this:

The greatest adventure in life is not an exotic safari, a booming business success, or a love relationship with that perfect someone. Rather, it’s discovering the purpose for our lives. This letter answers the question men and women have asked throughout all time: “Why am I here?” The answer may startle you, considering the standard talk-show ideas of our age. It has to do with eternity, making peace with God, and understanding the believer’s new identity in Christ. Interested? Read on. The adventure is only beginning.

I'm ready for the adventure. I'm ready to know Him, to give Him control.

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you."
Ephesians 1:17-18