This has been another trying week. My brain is on overload, and I have to get out of this mire that I seem to be stuck in. I just feel so weary lately. I've decided to make a list of the things that are contributing to my stress/anxiety/frustration. Then I'm going to pray about it. And then I'm going to come up with a plan to eliminate some of the things that are causing me grief.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Day 49: Beginning a New Week
Last week was both very stressful and revealing. In the midst of chaos at work and feeling all icky about myself, I discovered a gift. I wrote Monday about helping a coworker by listening and encouraging. The next day I was able to talk to another coworker who was having a rough week. I listened as she talked about her marriage and things she wished she had in her marriage. I told her about The Five Love Languages and asked her a few questions concerning her marriage. While I'm certainly no expert on marriage, I have learned a few things from this book and others regarding the way we treat others--especially those we love the most.
The next day I spoke to a woman who has been struggling with her job and trying to determine where to take her career. Instead of taking action, she has done nothing, hoping things would get better. I talked with her briefly and recommended a couple of web sites I have used to get freelance work, and I told her how the last year has been really eye-opening in terms of my passions and where I want to be in my career. The next day, I received an email from her thanking me. She said that browsing those sites and talking with me sparked her into action! It feels great to know that I was able to encourage someone!
Last Friday, I applied for a Manager position with Human Resources (still at same university). This past Friday I went to a conference with Noah's speech therapist, Kelli. She asked me where I worked, and when I told her she said her best friend worked at the same university. Then Kelli told me her friend's name, and I was speechless. This was the same person I had emailed my resume to the week before! She said she would give her a call and mention my name. Coincidence? I don't think so! What's even funnier is that Kelli talked about the college she attended in northern Louisiana. When I asked how she ended up there, she said all of her family lived in a little town in southeastern Arkansas. We discovered that we were alumni of the same high school! She graduated six years behind me so I never knew her, but WOW! How often does that happen?
Today I am praying for a new week with a fresh start. A week in which I will be able to push the impatience and frustrations with a couple of people at work totally out of the picture. I pray for the grace and spirit to deal with them.
The next day I spoke to a woman who has been struggling with her job and trying to determine where to take her career. Instead of taking action, she has done nothing, hoping things would get better. I talked with her briefly and recommended a couple of web sites I have used to get freelance work, and I told her how the last year has been really eye-opening in terms of my passions and where I want to be in my career. The next day, I received an email from her thanking me. She said that browsing those sites and talking with me sparked her into action! It feels great to know that I was able to encourage someone!
Last Friday, I applied for a Manager position with Human Resources (still at same university). This past Friday I went to a conference with Noah's speech therapist, Kelli. She asked me where I worked, and when I told her she said her best friend worked at the same university. Then Kelli told me her friend's name, and I was speechless. This was the same person I had emailed my resume to the week before! She said she would give her a call and mention my name. Coincidence? I don't think so! What's even funnier is that Kelli talked about the college she attended in northern Louisiana. When I asked how she ended up there, she said all of her family lived in a little town in southeastern Arkansas. We discovered that we were alumni of the same high school! She graduated six years behind me so I never knew her, but WOW! How often does that happen?
Today I am praying for a new week with a fresh start. A week in which I will be able to push the impatience and frustrations with a couple of people at work totally out of the picture. I pray for the grace and spirit to deal with them.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Day 43: The Art of Losing Myself
It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me.
The blue ribbon on my wrist has become my visible reminder of that phrase. Isn't it difficult to let go of the stubbornness and meanness that can fester within? It is for me. I want it my way...right now...and henceforth! God, however, sends reminders every day that in losing myself in Him I find peace and purpose.
Today a coworker posted pictures of her kids (one in high school and one in college) on facebook. I sent her a message telling her how happy her kids looked and how I admire her because she always seems so full of joy. I meant that with such sincerity. I don't know this woman very well, but she always has a smile on her face and seems to be enjoying life. I aspire to be that way--for others to think of me as a joyful person! She replied and told me that I made her day. She told me a little bit about the story behind the picture and told me that things are not always how they look. "I really wonder if we did ok w/the kids or if we screwed them up. It is very hard to raise kids. Do your very best from your heart and that is all you can do."
Later in the day I visited with another coworker to ask if she would recommend me for the job for which I had just applied. Just before I left her office she told me that yesterday was the first time she ever thought her marriage was really going to end. I sat there listening to her as she told me what a horrible weekend it was for her and how she wondered how I could be so strong with all that I've been through. First, I told her that it is only through my faith in God that I have been able to carry on. I also told her that I had just finished reading a book that I would like for her to read: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. As I talked with her about marriage and commitment and letting go of our own selfish ways, I thought how awesome it was that I could give to her something from my pain and struggles--something I've learned. When we finished talking she said, "Wow. How much do I owe you for this session?" Funny thing is that it was just as much of a counseling session for me as it was for her! She has been a tremendous influence on my professional life, and I consider her a mentor. I was so glad to give back...to make a small difference in her day. I only wish I had prayed with her.
"The art of losing myself" were words that spoke to me from a song this weekend. I hope to master that art. I hope for more days like today when I can forget myself and just be a blessing to others.
I'll include a favorite poem of mine here by Elizabeth Bishop:
One Art
The art of losing isn’t hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.
places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel.
None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn’t hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.
–Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident
the art of losing’s not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Beautifully Broken
We went to Gulf Shores this weekend, and it was so wonderful just to be unplugged. Saturday morning we watched a beautiful sunrise from the balcony of the condo before heading down to the sand. Combing the beach all day for shells, searching for the perfect keepsakes to remind us of our trip, I was reminded how I used to sit in our driveway as a girl, scanning the space for pretty rocks to add to my big basket. Sometimes a smooth one would catch my attention, while other times I would find one with a unique stripe or unusual colors. They were each special to me.
As we searched for shells Saturday, I kept hearing others say, “Oh look!…it is almost a perfect one, but not quite--it’s broken.” And I would catch myself being drawn to a shell halfway buried in the sand, something that at first glance appeared to be quite wonderful. When I would pick it up, however, I would find that it was broken on the underside…not complete. Instead of being disappointed, I still wanted wanted that shell. So I would add it to my bag and resume my search.
I continued to hear remarks of shells that weren’t perfect, not whole, or broken as their examiners would discard them in the sand, and I thought: But I like them broken. When they’re cracked, you can see the beautiful, smooth, intricate interiors that can’t be seen from the outside.
Isn't it great that God picks us up and still wants us even though we’re broken and incomplete. Sometimes the most beautiful people--and the most useful--are those who have been broken, brushed off, and rescued. My beautifully broken shells are a reminder that God can make all things new.
As we searched for shells Saturday, I kept hearing others say, “Oh look!…it is almost a perfect one, but not quite--it’s broken.” And I would catch myself being drawn to a shell halfway buried in the sand, something that at first glance appeared to be quite wonderful. When I would pick it up, however, I would find that it was broken on the underside…not complete. Instead of being disappointed, I still wanted wanted that shell. So I would add it to my bag and resume my search.
I continued to hear remarks of shells that weren’t perfect, not whole, or broken as their examiners would discard them in the sand, and I thought: But I like them broken. When they’re cracked, you can see the beautiful, smooth, intricate interiors that can’t be seen from the outside.
Isn't it great that God picks us up and still wants us even though we’re broken and incomplete. Sometimes the most beautiful people--and the most useful--are those who have been broken, brushed off, and rescued. My beautifully broken shells are a reminder that God can make all things new.
Day 42 - The Busy-ness
Still have the blue ribbon tied to my wrist...a reminder of my journey in Him. I've not been as faithful about posting here, but I'm still in the race! The last few weeks have been jam-packed with events and happenings, and as I'm finally slowing down I'm realizing that I don't always take God along in my "busy-ness". Of course, the days that are fraught with to-do lists, errands, chores, and kid-tastrophes are the very ones when I have failed to suit up in the Armor of God. While I have my shield of faith, some days I feel like I'm just hunkering down behind it, praying like crazy that I can outlast the battle!
Recently the boys and I had the opportunity to go to Gulf Shores for a relaxing weekend getaway. The weather was perfect, and there was nothing I needed more than to sit on the beach all day and do nothing but take in the wonder of God's world. It was incredible! I'd like to share a story that I wrote shortly after that trip--I'll create it as a separate post. The title is "Beautifully Broken"...it was a healing trip for me.
Recently the boys and I had the opportunity to go to Gulf Shores for a relaxing weekend getaway. The weather was perfect, and there was nothing I needed more than to sit on the beach all day and do nothing but take in the wonder of God's world. It was incredible! I'd like to share a story that I wrote shortly after that trip--I'll create it as a separate post. The title is "Beautifully Broken"...it was a healing trip for me.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Day 19: Tying One On
I have tied one on. Don't be alarmed - I haven't downed one too many margaritas during my lunch break today. I have tied a blue ribbon on my wrist. More specifically, I had Noah tied it on my wrist. I got the idea while reading Beth Moore's Believing God. While going through this study, it serves as a physical reminder of a commitment to increase your personal level of sanctification by sacrificing a part of one's lifestyle that may not be pleasing to God. I kind of skipped right over that part as I read through the chapter because I couldn't think of which habit I needed to surrender at His feet. It just kind of stayed with me, though, and I finally read the passage from which Beth pulled this idea:
The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. Then you will remember to obey my commands and will be consecrated to your God. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord your God.'"
Numbers 15:37-41
So I cut a piece of blue ribbon and had Noah tie it on my wrist. I read this passage to both the boys and explained that sometimes when I feel all mean and yucky inside I need to have this reminder to obey God's commandments...especially that part about loving others and being kind to other people through my words.
The plan is to wear this ribbon as I go through this period of transformation--yes...I have discovered that is what I am in. God has thrown Romans 12:1-2 at me several times lately, and I know now that I am done with my rebellious ways. I can be the nonconformist that I so often am by not conforming to the behavior and customs of this world. Through this transformation I will draw closer to Him and know Him, and that is what purpose is all about!
The Lord said to Moses, "Speak to the Israelites and say to them: 'Throughout the generations to come you are to make tassels on the corners of your garments, with a blue cord on each tassel. You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the Lord, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes. Then you will remember to obey my commands and will be consecrated to your God. I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt to be your God. I am the Lord your God.'"
Numbers 15:37-41
So I cut a piece of blue ribbon and had Noah tie it on my wrist. I read this passage to both the boys and explained that sometimes when I feel all mean and yucky inside I need to have this reminder to obey God's commandments...especially that part about loving others and being kind to other people through my words.
The plan is to wear this ribbon as I go through this period of transformation--yes...I have discovered that is what I am in. God has thrown Romans 12:1-2 at me several times lately, and I know now that I am done with my rebellious ways. I can be the nonconformist that I so often am by not conforming to the behavior and customs of this world. Through this transformation I will draw closer to Him and know Him, and that is what purpose is all about!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Day 11: Satan Ain't Happy
...and he has been working in full force today! I took off today so I could work on my freelance project to generate some much needed additional income. I didn't manage to get anything accomplished in that arena, but I did get a few errands out of the way. All in all, though, my patience has been short...especially with the boys. Typical sibling bickering, but today it grated more than usual. I snapped at them several times and really yelled at them as they were getting ready for school. I felt out of control (and not the kind where you choose to scoot over so God can drive!). I had to breathe deeply and ask Him to take care of my anxieties and my lack of patience.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I'm closing my eyes tonight with the hope that tomorrow will be better.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I'm closing my eyes tonight with the hope that tomorrow will be better.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Day 10: Renewal
Before the sermon tonight, Pastor Scott called the women of the church to the altar for prayer. It was such a powerful time as He prayed over each of us individually. Here are some of the things he said as he prayed over me:
- God, you know what she has been through.
- There is a great anointing on her.
- She will be a great warrior.
- She will wake up each day powerful for you.
He also said to lay down those things that have been keeping me from having a complete relationship with God. Take those things to the altar that are not good. Rid myself of whatever is holding me back so that I can be one with Him.
I have felt for some time that I need to work on the following things:
- My attitude at work…condescension; sarcasm; putting down on colleagues whose ideas or work ethics do not align with my own
- My use of profanity.
- Wasting time browsing web sites that serve no purpose in my life.
Tonight I took the following actions as soon as I got home:
- Deleted a blog I had begun using to journal about things at work that irritated me.
- Deleted a user ID/membership on a web site that is nothing but a time waster.
Moving forward I commit to:
- Take the advice I gave to my own children: If the words I am about to speak will not be helpful, I will not say them.
- I will purge things from my life that serve no purpose and waste my time and/or money.
- I will not use profanity.
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Colossians 3:8-10
Monday, September 29, 2008
Day 8: Letting Go of Anger
On my desk at work I have a book called Positive Thinking Every Day, which contains daily excerpts from nine of Norman Vincent Peale's books. Today's entry:
"Instead of trying to destroy all your anger, snip away by prayer each annoyance that feeds your anger. In so doing you will weaken it to such a point, that presently you will have control over it."
I am focusing today on praying my frustrations away.
"Instead of trying to destroy all your anger, snip away by prayer each annoyance that feeds your anger. In so doing you will weaken it to such a point, that presently you will have control over it."
I am focusing today on praying my frustrations away.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Day 7: There's that stewardship thing again!
Today I read in Believing God, and Beth spoke about stewardship...isn't that what I read about yesterday in Purpose Driven Life?! Naturally, this is making me think even harder about what I am doing with what God has given me.
This morning's sermon topic was "Relationships with People". There were four points:
This morning's sermon topic was "Relationships with People". There were four points:
- What relationship needs to be initiated?
- What relationship needs to be nurtured?
- What relationship needs to be restored?
- What relationship needs to be severed?
Pastor Scott referenced John 13:34-35:
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
I have really been taking a hard look at the attitude and heart I have toward James. As much as I have wanted to release my anger and bitterness, I have not fully done that. I know that I am to be as much a disciple to him as to anyone else. Probably even more so toward him since he is the father of my precious boys. I don't have to like him, but I am supposed to love him and treat him as Christ would...forgiving him.
Pastor Scott said, "God is love, and you can't love God if you don't love people."
This is going to be a tough one, but I am committing myself to kindness toward James. If he says or does something I don't like, I will hold my tongue until I can speak with kindness and then I will communicate to him why I disagree. I'm hoping that the "fake it 'til you make it" rule will apply here! By making a conscious effort to treat him with kindness, maybe I will eventually get to a point where I actually do feel kindness toward him instead of bitterness and contempt.
I had the biggest WOW moment with the kids yesterday. We had just gotten in the car to run some errands and the bickering and biting words began. So I said, "Okay...here's what we're going to do today. Before any of you open your mouths to speak, ask yourself, 'Is what I'm going to say going to be helpful?' If it will not be, then don't say it. God tells us to use kind words when we speak. He says we should use our words to build each other up and encourage each other."
I could not have told you what book of the Bible that came from, let alone what chapter and verse, and I felt good that I was able to remember something from the Bible and relate it to a situation so that the kids could learn from it. I've always struggled with memorize scripture...or anything else, for that matter. I am much more of a conceptual learner.
Less than 10 minutes later as I turned the radio up (KLOVE), the deejay wrapped up the song that was playing by saying, "...that song was from Building 429. The group got their name from Ephesians 4:29, which says, 'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'"
The kids' jaws dropped. "That is SO WEIRD! You just said that, Mom! That's exactly what you just said!"
I just smiled to myself and said, "Yep. See...God's trying to tell you something."
I sure love it when He makes things crystal clear like that!
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
I have really been taking a hard look at the attitude and heart I have toward James. As much as I have wanted to release my anger and bitterness, I have not fully done that. I know that I am to be as much a disciple to him as to anyone else. Probably even more so toward him since he is the father of my precious boys. I don't have to like him, but I am supposed to love him and treat him as Christ would...forgiving him.
Pastor Scott said, "God is love, and you can't love God if you don't love people."
This is going to be a tough one, but I am committing myself to kindness toward James. If he says or does something I don't like, I will hold my tongue until I can speak with kindness and then I will communicate to him why I disagree. I'm hoping that the "fake it 'til you make it" rule will apply here! By making a conscious effort to treat him with kindness, maybe I will eventually get to a point where I actually do feel kindness toward him instead of bitterness and contempt.
I had the biggest WOW moment with the kids yesterday. We had just gotten in the car to run some errands and the bickering and biting words began. So I said, "Okay...here's what we're going to do today. Before any of you open your mouths to speak, ask yourself, 'Is what I'm going to say going to be helpful?' If it will not be, then don't say it. God tells us to use kind words when we speak. He says we should use our words to build each other up and encourage each other."
I could not have told you what book of the Bible that came from, let alone what chapter and verse, and I felt good that I was able to remember something from the Bible and relate it to a situation so that the kids could learn from it. I've always struggled with memorize scripture...or anything else, for that matter. I am much more of a conceptual learner.
Less than 10 minutes later as I turned the radio up (KLOVE), the deejay wrapped up the song that was playing by saying, "...that song was from Building 429. The group got their name from Ephesians 4:29, which says, 'Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.'"
The kids' jaws dropped. "That is SO WEIRD! You just said that, Mom! That's exactly what you just said!"
I just smiled to myself and said, "Yep. See...God's trying to tell you something."
I sure love it when He makes things crystal clear like that!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Day 6: My stewardship of His gifts
Notes from my Purpose Driven Life reading for today.
Perspective - what is your life metaphor? Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
*Note: Several months ago (maybe in June/July) this scripture came to me as an Encouraging Word email from KLOVE. It really spoke to me more than the daily emails generally do, so I printed it and put it at my desk. I've thought of taking it down a time or two, but each time decided to leave it up. I don't read it every day, but each time I look at it, it reminds me to ask for renewal and to turn from the ways the world says I should act.
Life is a test.
Life is a trust.
Life is a temporary assignment.
Test
There are tests in life to help develop your character. God watches how we respond to trials.
Trust
We are stewards of the gifts God gives us. God is the owner of everything.
*Note: In Luke Walters' sermon Wednesday, he talked about how we are to be managers, or stewards, of God's goodness. He referenced 1 Corinthians 4:2, which says, "Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful."
Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it."
We are entrusted with His creation.
1 Corinthians 4:7 says, "For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?
Personal thoughts:
I generally think of my life as a journey. Have I been a good steward of what He has given me? Not really. I am starting to recognize not just my gifts, but my spiritual gifts. I must show Him my faithfulness by caring for the gifts He blesses me with.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Day 3: Faith
The sermon at church last night was titled, "The Power of Faithfulness". The guest pastor, Luke Walters, talked about how faithfulness is born out of the power of the resurrection of Jesus. I jotted down scripture references just as quickly as I could as he blew through the message. I wanted to go back and read them when I had more time.
I came home and got the kids tucked in for the night and began my daily reading in Purpose Driven Life and Believing God. As I read chapter 3 in PDL, the one thing that stood out to me was the reference to 1 John 4:16b: "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him." I've come to realize in the last couple of days that to know God's purpose for me, I must first know God. On the first day of this journey Ephesians 5:2 stood out: "...live a life of love..." On Day 2, PDL referenced 1 John 4:8: "God is love." And now I'm reading this again. Ok...I usually have to hear things a time or two before they stick. I think this is definitely starting to stick! Who is God? God is love. I must live in love to live in God and have Him live in me!
I moved on to Beth Moore...chapter 2 was all about faith/belief. Coincidence? I don't think so! Hebrews 11:6 says, "...without faith it is impossible to please God." Believing God....faith...what's the difference?, I wondered. I liked that Beth broke this down. Pistis is a Greek word that means assurance, belief, believe, faith, and fidelity. All are translated from some form of this word with only a few exceptions. Good...so now I know that they basically mean the same thing.
Then she took it a step further and threw in Ephesians 1:13: "And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit." She also referenced Ephesians 1:18-20 again, really focusing on the part that says, "in order that you may know...his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead." Wow! That's just what Luke had talked about in his sermon earlier in the evening. Seeing the verse in print just brought it all together for me. Beth writes:
I came home and got the kids tucked in for the night and began my daily reading in Purpose Driven Life and Believing God. As I read chapter 3 in PDL, the one thing that stood out to me was the reference to 1 John 4:16b: "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in him." I've come to realize in the last couple of days that to know God's purpose for me, I must first know God. On the first day of this journey Ephesians 5:2 stood out: "...live a life of love..." On Day 2, PDL referenced 1 John 4:8: "God is love." And now I'm reading this again. Ok...I usually have to hear things a time or two before they stick. I think this is definitely starting to stick! Who is God? God is love. I must live in love to live in God and have Him live in me!
I moved on to Beth Moore...chapter 2 was all about faith/belief. Coincidence? I don't think so! Hebrews 11:6 says, "...without faith it is impossible to please God." Believing God....faith...what's the difference?, I wondered. I liked that Beth broke this down. Pistis is a Greek word that means assurance, belief, believe, faith, and fidelity. All are translated from some form of this word with only a few exceptions. Good...so now I know that they basically mean the same thing.
Then she took it a step further and threw in Ephesians 1:13: "And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit." She also referenced Ephesians 1:18-20 again, really focusing on the part that says, "in order that you may know...his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead." Wow! That's just what Luke had talked about in his sermon earlier in the evening. Seeing the verse in print just brought it all together for me. Beth writes:
Nothing on earth compares to the strength God is willing to interject into lives caught in the act of believing. Under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Paul likens it to the stunning power God exerted when He raised His Son from the dead!...Can you think of any need you might have that would require more strength than God exercised to raise the dead?
"Having believed" is the past tense view of faithfulness (the point of salvation for us), whereas "believing" is the present active participle of faithfulness. This means presently, actively, continually believing in God. What a difference it is between accepting Christ as my personal Savior, and living a life of continual faithfulness for Him! A faithful life will mean the pleasure of God and a power beyond compare.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Day 2: Believing God
So I'm currently reading two books: The Purpose Driven Life and Believing God. I had started both at one time but never finished them. In the first chapter of Believing God, Beth Moore quoted Ephesians 1:18...think God is trying to tell me something? I have been spending much time in prayer and in His Word during the last two days and have received encouragement from those I've asked to be "prayer warriors" for me during this time.
One thing that really stuck out last night as I was reading Romans was chapter 4, verse 3, which references Genesis 15:6: "Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness." I don't know much about any complex theology relating to that verse, but I like the simplicity of the first part of it: "Abram believed the Lord." That's all he had to do, and he just knew it. As I've been reading Beth Moore's book, I realize that I have faith and I want to believe God, but have I really been doing that?
My efforts to control situations instead of asking God to handle them are a good indication that I really haven't believed that He will take care of all things in my life. Every single area. It doesn't mean that I will have it easy or that I won't have to do any work, but He has promised to take care of me. If I experience anger or hurt or disappointment, I have to trust that I am going through those situations for a reason. He is building me, conditioning me, for what's to come.
On my morning commute today I missed my normal exit because there was a car to my right and I just couldn't get over without cutting the driver off. I chose to be patient and just take the next exit. Because I did that, I saw the most glorious sunrise! It was a powerfully beautiful example of His creative genius! I would have missed it had I not been willing to wait.
Everything in His perfect timing.
One thing that really stuck out last night as I was reading Romans was chapter 4, verse 3, which references Genesis 15:6: "Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness." I don't know much about any complex theology relating to that verse, but I like the simplicity of the first part of it: "Abram believed the Lord." That's all he had to do, and he just knew it. As I've been reading Beth Moore's book, I realize that I have faith and I want to believe God, but have I really been doing that?
My efforts to control situations instead of asking God to handle them are a good indication that I really haven't believed that He will take care of all things in my life. Every single area. It doesn't mean that I will have it easy or that I won't have to do any work, but He has promised to take care of me. If I experience anger or hurt or disappointment, I have to trust that I am going through those situations for a reason. He is building me, conditioning me, for what's to come.
On my morning commute today I missed my normal exit because there was a car to my right and I just couldn't get over without cutting the driver off. I chose to be patient and just take the next exit. Because I did that, I saw the most glorious sunrise! It was a powerfully beautiful example of His creative genius! I would have missed it had I not been willing to wait.
Everything in His perfect timing.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Day 1: I'm a Control Freak
Late last night I had what my mom would call a good case of the “Can’t-Help-Its”! Even after committing the next 100 days to hearing God’s message to me, I was “in a funk” and didn’t know why. I was restless, irritable, agitated…just depressed about different areas of my life—work, finances, relationships.
I’m a person who generally likes change, even advocates it, but I’m a little weary of this perpetual state of temporariness that I’ve been in for quite some time. Nothing feels permanent or settled—like it’s where I need to be. For a planner and organizer, this is difficult. I want to fit everything into a perfect little box or chart. I want to map out a “plan” and follow it step by step, but things just aren’t happening that way. I want to analyze myself, my desires, my goals and have everything just fall into place. I want to be IN CONTROL.
The greatest adventure in life is not an exotic safari, a booming business success, or a love relationship with that perfect someone. Rather, it’s discovering the purpose for our lives. This letter answers the question men and women have asked throughout all time: “Why am I here?” The answer may startle you, considering the standard talk-show ideas of our age. It has to do with eternity, making peace with God, and understanding the believer’s new identity in Christ. Interested? Read on. The adventure is only beginning.
I'm ready for the adventure. I'm ready to know Him, to give Him control.
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you."
Ephesians 1:17-18
I'm ready for the adventure. I'm ready to know Him, to give Him control.
"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you."
Ephesians 1:17-18
Monday, September 22, 2008
A 100 Day Commitment
This morning I told God that I was ready. Ready to hear the message that He has in store for me. I've been feeling the pull for quite a few months now but made excuses. I'm too busy. I'm not ready. I'm still trying to put my life back together. I just need to figure myself out first before I seek His purpose for my life. I need to know what I'm good at and where my personality might fit in serving Him. Wrong. How can I ever know myself without first asking Him?
I am who God says that I am.
I have been so wrapped up in my own wants and needs. How can I have a better career? How can I get a better-paying job? Why should I have to give up my kids three days a week because my ex-husband didn't want to commit to me?
It is not about me.
I commit myself today to God, to His purpose. I ask Him to speak to me, to guide me, to show me where He wants me in every area of my life. I commit to being in His Word each day so that He might reveal His purpose to me.
By Him. For Him.
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